At their core, fear and being afraid are two different things - I'm not afraid of being by myself, of bugs or snakes, but I do struggle with fear.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of failure.
Fear of people knowing what my insecurities are.
You get the point.
I think I do a good job at hiding my fears... they're usually covered up with great conversation or laughter to distract me from the fact that I feel at such a loss. I don't want to be the girl who looks like she has it all together, because I know that I don't. Today at lunch, I was talking with a new friend about how easily Satan loves to allow us to be taken captive in our thought life, especially when it comes to fear. It's easy to dwell on those things and allow them to distract you from what God has called you to do. Those fears come in many different forms.
Fear of acceptance.
Fear of messing up.
Fear of being inadequate.
I think the last one is where I'm currently struggling the most. I just feel inadequate most days to walk confidently in the calling that the Lord has placed on my life. I know that I'm right where I'm supposed to be (which is another story for another post), but I often feel inadequate. I so often think to myself, "Who, me?" and "Are you sure you picked the right girl for this?" but God is so faithful. He continually shows himself to be more than enough. Last weekend, Beth Moore said something I've heard her say before, and it really stuck with me...
Jesus is so much better than He has to be. You really can trust Him.
This is the absolute truth. It's found all throughout Scripture, and it's there for us to claim. In those moments when I feel fear creeping in, I am trying to remind myself that I can trust in Jesus. He has the power to overcome all of my fears, and He has led me to the place where I am. I'm trusting Him with all of my fears, inadequacies, struggles, and joys.
I'm not inadequate, but I can't do it without Him.
It's not about me, so it doesn't matter whether or not I'm accepted, as long as I'm walking in obedience.
I'm going to mess up, but He's going to be right there to pick me up when I fall.
All of this is so much easier said than done, but I know that it's truth I can claim and walk in, and so can you.
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the LORD.
Blessed is the man who makes
the LORD his trust,
who does not turn to the proud,
to those who go astray after a lie!